


Unaware

by Sayuri_no_Hanataba



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Angst, Implied one-sided Gil/Oz, M/M, PH Month, PH Month: Second Week, Pandora Hearts Month, Pandora Hearts Month: Second Week, Romance, Shipping (Canon/Rare/Crack Ships)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 08:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12031842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sayuri_no_Hanataba/pseuds/Sayuri_no_Hanataba
Summary: "Gilbert scanned the dim room. There was no one at first glance but then his eyes landed by the fireplace, where the embers were slowly dying. After a while he spotted it; a hand resting on the armrest of one of the armchairs that had its back facing Gilbert. He slowly approached it, unsure of who to expect..." Implied one-sided Gil/Oz.





	Unaware

Gilbert bit his lip upon hearing the sound of the doors groaning as he pushed them forward, although it was unlikely that anyone else would have actually heard since the bedrooms were far away from the foyer. Still, ever the worrier, he opened it just enough for him to slip past before silently closing it shut behind him.

The light but sharp tapping of his footsteps that echoed throughout the vast hall as he walked across the marble floor was inevitable, unfortunately, so while he dusted off the flakes of snow from his coat and hat, he briefly considered if tiptoeing would make a difference. But by the time he decided that it was worth a try, he had already begun his journey up the carpeted stairway which would, thankfully, mute his footsteps.

The last thing he wanted was to disturb anyone's sleep or alarm anyone since it _was_ well past midnight.

The moment he stepped foot on the landing of the first floor, Gilbert almost relaxed even further. There seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary at first to indicate that he had awoken anyone. But then he spotted it – a dim light in the otherwise dark hallway coming through a door that was slightly ajar. He immediately realised it was the living room and curious as to who could possibly be up at this time, Gilbert decided to take a look while approaching it. But he made sure to silently draw his gun first. It never hurt to be cautious, because no one should have been expecting him...

He lightly pushed the door back with the tip of his shoe but didn't walk in just yet, even though there were no signs of another presence apart from his own. Instead, he waited for at least a minute before finally slipping inside.

"How typical of you, Gilbert."

Before Gilbert could even gasp in surprise, he was pressed against the wall while a hand was clamped over his mouth and another hand grabbed Gilbert's left wrist, pinning it beside the man's head, thus rendering any shots he had in mind useless.

But rather than fighting back or screaming in terror, Gilbert simply glared daggers at his assailant who began chuckling at Gilbert's helplessness, after which said assailant leaned forward and whispered darkly into his ear.

"Honestly, did you think that an intruder could get past _me_?"

Gilbert remained silent. The answer was obvious, after all.

His assailant smirked.

"Exactly. That's why, raising your gun in this household is useless as long as I'm alive. Remember that, Raven."

And then all restraints were gone. Gilbert was free to move his wrist and to open his mouth to speak.

"Break, you idiot!" he whispered harshly. "What the hell was that for?!"

Break lifted a comically long-sleeve clad arm to conceal his thoroughly amused grin behind his hand.

"Hmm~ No reason, really. I just felt like it. Seeing a worked-up Gilbert is always fun."

Gilbert had to hold back with all his might lest he reached out and strangled that damn clown.

"Oh, but I also couldn't have you waking up the third occupant of this room with your gunshots or shrieks of terror, now could I?"

Gilbert was about to hurl a few insults of his own when the unnecessary parts of Break's comment hit him, but then the rest of what he said registered, making him pause.

"Third... occupant?"

Gilbert scanned the dim room. There was no one at first glance but then his eyes landed by the fireplace, where the embers were slowly dying. After a while he spotted it; a hand resting on the armrest of one of the armchairs that had its back facing Gilbert.

He slowly approached it, unsure of who to expect. Perhaps it was Sharon? That would explain why Break was here. But he could easily have carried her back to her room... Was it the Stupid Rabbit then? Falling asleep at other people's inconvenience was her speciality, and Break certainly did not want to be on the receiving end of a grumpy and groggy Alice's tantrum. Hell would have to freeze over before she could even wrap her mind around the idea of the other laying his hands on her while she was off guard (waking up at horrible times also happened to be her speciality) even if it was spurred by innocent intentions.

The last person he expected to see, though, was Oz.

His body was slumped, making him look so small in contrast to the large, cushioned, velvet armchair and though it was a sight that momentarily alarmed him, it also made his master look all the more endearing in Gilbert's eyes. His head was tilted heavily to the right and there was a blanket draped across the boy's legs, on top of which his left hand lay.

Oz was fast asleep.

Gilbert's gaze was instantly drawn first to the boy's soft lips that were parted ever so slightly, then to full, golden eyelashes, the tips of which just barely brushed his smooth cheeks. After that he found himself watching the steady rise and fall of Oz's chest with slight wonder, until a soft voice brought him back to reality.

"He's been waiting for you this whole time, you know. Refused to move from that spot, saying he wanted to be the first one to greet you when you came back."

Gilbert's eyes grew wide as a silent gasped escaped his lips.

The _whole_ time...?

"You mean... Since _yesterday morning_ , he...?"

"Stubborn little brat, he is," commented Break with a crooked smile. "The only time he _did_ get up was to go to the bathroom or eat, and even then, Alice had to drag him to the dining room. After that he refused sleep, reassuring everyone that he wasn't tired yet. He eventually gave up last night and went to bed though, but tonight he was more persistent. Alas, he went out like a light just a while before you returned~"

You could tell how shocked Gilbert was since he didn't even register Alice's apparent mistreatment of his Master.

"But... _Why_?" he finally whispered.

Gilbert just couldn't understand it. Oz shouldn't have been here, because they hadn't exactly parted on what he could call 'amicable terms'.

Two nights ago, Echo had visited them after dinner to deliver a letter to him from Vincent. Apparently the Nightrays had an important job for them and Gilbert was required to meet up with his brother in the Nightray Mansion at the crack of dawn the next day.

Oz was not too happy with this development, however, and insisted that Gilbert brought him along. Naturally the older man refused, but Oz was being particularly stubborn for some reason. Gilbert tried explaining the obvious risks of Oz tagging along which normally should have worked, but had the opposite effect instead.

The boy was _angry_. At _Gilbert_.

 _'Gil, stop treating me like a kid! I may not be an expert like you, but I_ do _know how to take care of myself. I even managed to escape the Abyss on my own! How much more do I have to do to prove myself an adult in your eyes?'_

Those words had unexpectedly stung more than they should have. The fact that Oz was moving on from needing to rely on Gilbert all the time was a fact that the latter was trying his best not to acknowledge, but to actually hear it from Oz's mouth; to know that he was _aware_ of the changes happening between them... It was truly painful...

...And what did he even _mean_ by that? Why was Oz so concerned about 'proving himself an adult' in _Gilbert's_ eyes anyway? Until now he had not been able to figure it out, and that was saying something considering the fact that Oz and their conversation had been the only thing on his thoughts for the past two days when his mind had not been occupied on the job at hand.

At that point, Gilbert really should've lost his temper. He should've scolded Oz for being so unreasonable. But he couldn't. Because perhaps if Oz knew why Gilbert was so overprotective when it came to him, _maybe_ the boy would've reconsidered those words. But Oz didn't know. And it wasn't the boy's fault for being unaware...

So instead, Gilbert continued to insist in a reasonable tone of voice.

 _'Oz, do you understand? It is_ dangerous _. Assassination is no walk in the park, and that's coming from_ me _! This job will be particularly difficult, which is why Vincent and I have to team up.'_

 _'That's_ exactly _why I want to go! I know it's dangerous. I know you'll be worried about me. But don't you think that_ I _worry about_ you _too?!'_

Oz... worried for him...

It's not like Gilbert wasn't aware of it, but assuming something and actually hearing it was two different things. It felt different...

Gilbert was honestly touched. Oz was willing to put his own life in danger simply because he worried for his servant. But Gilbert could never allow it, because not only was it unthinkable that Oz's valuable existence be wasted on one as meaningless as his own, but Gilbert had already lost Oz once and suffered for an entire decade as a result. For ten years, he was absolutely consumed by grief, regret, hatred and unbearable loneliness. That's why; he wasn't going to let Oz slip through his fingers so easily this time.

The boy simply meant too much to him. Too much that it hurt at times.

So, it was alright if Oz was angry at him. Gilbert wouldn't lose his temper, because it wasn't Oz's fault for being unaware of the elder's feelings. It was, as Gilbert believed, his own fault for not telling the other.

But he had a very good reason not to, and that was the fact that Oz simply could not know. It might very well shatter the already-broken boy if he was aware of the sheer intensity and magnitude of the things Gilbert kept under lock and key, especially since the younger would feel responsible and try to do something about it, even though he probably couldn't.

With that last remark, Oz had stomped off to bed. As much as he yearned to, Gilbert didn't go after him because it would've been pointless when his master was in that state anyway. Instead, he too went to bed and in the early hours of the morning, he silently departed for the Nightray Mansion while everyone else slept on.

He should've been back by last night. However, it was just his luck that things never usually went according to plan. As a result, the mission took another day just to complete which was why Gilbert had returned much later than expected. In fact, if Vincent had succeeded in coaxing him to stay overnight at the Nightray mansion for once and rest, he might not have been back until midday.

Gilbert was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Break sigh softly, before answering his earlier question. "You're slow, aren't you? Why do you _think_ he'd wait all day for you?"

"Because... he was worried?"

"Well, glad to see your brain cells are still alive and kicking but you're not quite there yet."

"Oh, just shut up and tell me already," snapped Gilbert.

Break was about to point out that if he shut up, he wouldn't be able to explain Oz's behaviour to Gilbert just to further annoy the other, but wisely decided against it at the last minute. After all, they were both exhausted for their own respective reasons.

"He wanted to apologise," replied Break calmly in the face of the younger man's temper. "He may not have been as easy to read as an open book, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that he regretted his words that night." Then Break cocked his head to the side as though in thought. "For once, Oz Vessalius failed to fully conceal his true emotions... Perhaps his mask weakens when you're the root of his dismay?" he mused almost to himself, with a ghost of a smirk lingering on his lips.

Gilbert was speechless. Was... was Break telling the truth? He had to, right? Because Gilbert was having a hard time believing all this, but Break wasn't the type to joke about such things...

"...You could've at least carried him to bed if you knew what he'd been going through," mumbled Gilbert at last with an obvious undertone of annoyance in his voice.

Break looked at Gilbert with mock-horror. "Be _thankful_ that I at least had the decency to bring him a blanket. Why would I go so far for _this_ un-cute brat? And besides, isn't that something _you_ usually do?" lilted Break teasingly.

Gilbert shot a glare in Break's direction, though it was an effort to meet eyes with the man since he could feel his face heating up in mortification. After all, he had always assumed no one was around whenever he carried Oz to bed in what could be perceived as a loving manner to any onlooker.

"Don't call him a brat."

Break simply smirked in his usual annoying fashion. "Oh~? Why shouldn't I? You yourself call him that at times." Then, "And you're avoiding the question, by the way~"

"Tch, you're such a pain! Why are you even awake if you don't care about him, anyway?" grumbled Gilbert.

"How _could_ I have slept knowing that _he_ was awake? This boy is a trouble magnet."

Gilbert tenderly massaged his temples with the tips of his fingers. He _did not_ need this right now.

"Look, I'm back now so I'll handle it from here, alright? So you can leave. Go to sleep or something."

Break didn't have to be told twice, for he was already heading towards an armoire at the back of the room. "Then, I'll leave it to you~" he sang, before briefly waving at Gilbert and stepping inside it, after which he slowly pulled it shut after him.

"Use the door, dammit!" hissed Gilbert before glaring at the armoire for a good two minutes until he was satisfied that Break had definitely left (or at least, he _hoped_ he had left. It was hard to tell with that clown and his ridiculous vanishing acts). After that he sighed wearily, mustering the courage to face Oz. The boy was still fast asleep, which was just what Gilbert hoped for since he didn't think he had enough energy to deal with any form of awkwardness right now.

He leaned forward while carefully slipping his arms behind Oz's back and below his thighs, before carefully lifting him up and cradling him against his chest. After that he slowly carried his master out of the room and towards his bedroom. Oz stirred a few times as Gilbert walked, but it was mostly to snuggle closer against the new, comforting source of warmth. That, of course, made Gilbert smile warmly at the highly endearing sight as well as bring about a faint tinge of pink to his cheeks.

Once Gilbert had arrived at Oz's bedroom, he lowered the boy onto the bed as gently as he picked him up. After that he carefully slipped off his master's boots, tie and vest and put them away before spreading the thick blanket over Oz's body. When that was done, Gilbert was about to leave when he heard a very quiet but unmistakable murmur.

"...Gil..."

Gilbert slowly turned back towards Oz, expecting to find the boy upright and awake. However, he was still fast asleep.

_"Sleep talking, then?"_

He approached the bed, curious. As anticipated, Oz apparently had more to say.

"Gil... 'm sorry..."

Gilbert stiffened.

Oz's eyes slowly began to flutter, but it quickly became obvious that the boy could barely open them because of how exhausted he was. Gilbert realised that in this state, Oz was probably completely unaware of what he was saying, and by the time he woke up all this would be like a dream to him.

"Gil...?" mumbled Oz weakly, as though he were trying to make sure Gil was actually there and that he wasn’t actually dreaming.

Gilbert neither moved nor spoke for many seconds, unsure of what to do. But finally, he slowly got down onto his knees beside Oz's bed. He noticed how the blond was desperately trying to keep his eyes open; trying to keep them trained on Gil, which made him smile softly. Gilbert reached out to stroke Oz's hair fondly and it seemed as though that soothing action melted Oz's resolve, for his eyes finally came to a proper close once more.

Just before Oz drifted back to sleep, Gilbert had to make sure that his dream was complete. And to do this, he leaned in to quietly speak into his master's ear.

"It's okay, Oz. You never did anything that warrants and apology. And you know I could never get angry at you because..."

Gilbert trailed off, suddenly hesitant.

Would all this _really_ be nothing more than a dream to Oz...?

"...Because... you mean the world to me, Oz. You're my most important person. My most beloved person... For that reason, I don't want to lose you ever again. You have absolutely no idea how painful it was; the agony of not having you by my side... That's why... It's not your fault for being unaware of the feeling I cannot even begin to describe."

Gilbert removed his hand from Oz's hair, only pausing to brush aside the several strands that fell over his closed eyelids, before completely pulling away and standing up. Oz's breathing was slow and steady, a clear sign that he was deep asleep. After spending another minute simply gazing longingly at the peaceful boy before him, he silently made his way out of Oz's bedroom.

He would never know if his words were just a dream to Oz or not. He would never know what Oz made of them if the boy knew they weren't. But when Gilbert was abruptly woken up the next morning thanks to Oz's tackle-hug and became subject to a long, unexplained session of silent cuddling under the covers (Oz simply claimed he was still tired and that Gil's bed was already so nice and warm), Gilbert realised it didn't really matter.

Because if it would maintain peace, then sometimes you were better off not knowing.

Sometimes, it was better to be unaware.


End file.
